THE INVISIBLE WORK

fullsizerender

Early one morning after my shower, I opened my closet and couldn’t find the white and blue suit that I was planning to wear that day. It was a Court day and I had to have a proper skirt suit that would enhance my performance in front of nine judges. Plus, my middle-aged client, a wealthy and prominent Plastic Surgeon in Curitiba, Brazil, had always told me that I looked too young to be a successful Family Law Attorney. (I was 28 years old and still living with my parents, as many Brazilian kids do.) This client always liked to remind me of how I should dress up when in Court to defend him. And that was one of those days!

I couldn’t find my skirt suit. I got so irritated and stressed out and said to myself, “What does my Mom do all day that my clothes are not clean and ready in my closet?” I became furious and said out loud: “Mom, where is my white and blue skirt suit? I need to wear it today”. Right away, she came to my bedroom (where I sat getting madder and madder), and with a soft, contrite voice she said: “Oh filha (daughter), I am so sorry but it’s still in the laundry room and needs to be ironed. I promise I will get it ready tonight so you can wear it tomorrow”.

I just turned my face away and said “no problem, Mom”. With my anger just seething inside, I chose another skirt suit, embraced the war that ignited my whole body and mind for that day, and took off for Court.

sunset

When I became a Mother in 2007, those angry feelings that I had in my younger years, especially between my Mother and I, came to mind and broke my heart. I asked myself, “How could I have ever questioned what my Mom did all day that prevented her from having my clothes clean and ready?”

After much deep reflection, I realized how disrespectful and offensive my comments and thoughts toward my Mom were! And even more astounding to me was the realization that my Mother could be so gracious and loving in her response to my “temper tantrum”.

Wow! Now I really had to stop and think for a while! My Mom really did a lot of things, but they were invisible. We didn’t see the myriad things she did for our family…unless she didn’t get them done. Then we took notice!

Now I understand because I am a Mom as well and things like that have happened in my own life. I have even found myself having the same empathetic reaction that my Mom had, just because I am a Mom. Moms can react in the same gracious way to our children (not every single time) just because we love them. And, we love them more than they could ever imagine!

My memory about that specific event with my Mom, as well as many others, (some good, some not so good), enhanced my own personal experience as a Mother and resulted in a personal reflection about a Mother’s Work. Because of the lack of recognition for Mothers in our society, I felt prompted by the many aspects and nuances that this most important job has, and decided to reflect, read, and write about it as a personal journey.

That’s when I developed a Creative Life Project two years ago named Privileged Home. The Privilege consists of a Mother devoting her time working for her family, and the outcome of this all-consuming work, is a healthy, happy, and sustainable Home.  And this is where the conversation starts!

PrivilegedHome.com is designed to be a place where ideas will be brought forth to build and increase and exalt the career Moms. These are the Moms that dedicate their attention, energy, and most important of all, their time to their household. In this sense, PrivilegedHome.com maintains that every Mom is a working Mom! And…now is the time to show our society the value of women who choose to stay and work at home!

bunker

To the Career Moms out there… we need to dispose of the shame that is behind the statement “No, I don’t work, I’m just a mom”, and give birth to the most valuable and vital work that being a present Mom is! This is my first and main call. We must also recognize and include the Moms that do have another job, whether by choice, family needs, single moms, dads that work at home, grandparents who are raising children, or any other circumstance that requires one to be present in a child’s life.  

My hope is that we can talk and walk together in this conversation.

Welcome to PrevilegedHome.com!

 

By | May 10th, 2016|Categories: View|0 Comments